So today I spent a whole 3hrs mugging at Starbucks. I only covered two chapters but already felt worn out. Exams are six weeks away, I seriously need to start studying. It was pretty awkward that I didn't go out on my off day, coz usually I still tire myself out even when it should be my rest day. Work this week is really taxing, weekdays I'm busy doing training and then the weekend will be the much awaited Bear Makeover event at the store. Everything seems to be in a hurry this week.

I always believe that I'm a social butterfly, sometimes too friendly that I scare people.

But today, I found out the otherwise.

I don't exactly understand where the problem lies here, to be honest. As much as I've hurt you with my words in certain ways, you did the same too. But more imporantly, it's not about pointing fingers here. At the end of the day, people always tell you to compromise and accommodate, but in reality, it's not as easy as it looks. Trust me.

And then I realised as much as I'm good at communicating, maybe I'm not good at communicating effectively just yet. I admit, I'm sometimes harsh, and I know I've offended a friends out there with my witty sarcasm. And slowly, it's affecting my personal life. If you think I'm gonna lay everything on the table for your reading convenience, then you're wrong.

I fumble with words quite often, and my good intention will occassionally come out wrong. I managed to control it at times, but at other times my mouth works faster than my brains. After all is said and done, then I'll go, "Opps!". It's a tad too late to fix things by then right?

I don't know if there are people out there like me.

I don't exactly plan or recite things I wanna say before actually saying it, could be another reason of my fumble. I just say what's on my mind, whether right or wrong. That's where I come across as selfish and insensitive at times. I don't blame them really, I just wished they understand my position, where I'm coming from.

Am I making sense to you? If not, good. That was my purpose. This was meant to be everywhere, it was meant to be complicated.

Maybe then I can find myself. Maybe then I'll understand why I'm like this.

That aside.

I'm a lagger. Because everyone else uses Tumblr, I'm still on Blogger. Bleargh.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, because I'm eating oat prawns! And because I will miss Ashraf so much by then.