Dad just it back home from a long walk, I think it was close to 2hrs and it got mom really worried. That's how different things are with my family now, due to dad's health condition. Back then, he use to go to places so far just to get things; like a haircut and awesome chicken rice at Clementi. But now, a mere distance walk can leave him breathless, let alone a 2hr disappearance.

I'm pretty much the 'man' of the house now, brother can't be there for us all the time since he has his own family. Nevertheless without him, I'll be so lost.

This journey sure thought me alot, determination and gratitude especially.

Alhamdulillah.

It's funny how I smile to myself at times thinking about you. :)

If there's one thing I'm feeling right now, it's like a sick chicken with an oversized head. I blame it on work, today was seriously immobile. Bus ride back home didn't help either, my head feels like it's falling off from it's joint and I just wanted to throw up. Now, I'm in bed, just letting everything settle down.

I hate whatever in feeling right now, not just phsically unwell, but mentally.

Bleargh.

I can only earn a good damn helluva break once the exams are over. Nothing comes easy. So it's about time to mug. And there's work as well, one after the another. I'm just like a ticking bomb waitin to explode.

Lemme tell, it's especialy tiring when you have more than 2 things to juggle. Deep inside, I know I can pull through. :)

I badly need to cuddle, roll around in bed. And then sleep.

Well, I seriously had the intention of blogging actually. But after the window was loaded, I suddenly became sleepy.

This week seems to be rushing-here-there for me, with work and school assignments especially. I'm hanging pretty well, I just need to start mugging really soon, no joke. The last time I did a revision was a week ago, I became pancit after revising through 2 weeks worth of seminar. How like that? If I carry on, adds even more pressure. I'll just talk light for now.

I have been avoiding fizzy drinks for 3 months already! Woooooots! Like seriously, I don't actually crave for Coke or Sprite. Now the question is, should I completely stop with fizzy drinks or only consume it once in awhile. I know many would agree with the latter; who in the world doesn't enjoy Coke right?! But then again, it definitely help to reduce sugar intake by a whole damn lot. I seriously wanna lose some muffins y'know. It's so hard to find time, I'm only able to jog once a week currently. Don't laugh, I've been wanting to sign up for dance classes with dearest Cheris, but no time. Bleargh.

My undying motivation to look like Britney Spears.

And a few hours before this, I just had Mozarella cheese prata with Sweet Corn ice blended. -__-

My eyes are getting heavier by this sentence.

Goodnight.

So today I spent a whole 3hrs mugging at Starbucks. I only covered two chapters but already felt worn out. Exams are six weeks away, I seriously need to start studying. It was pretty awkward that I didn't go out on my off day, coz usually I still tire myself out even when it should be my rest day. Work this week is really taxing, weekdays I'm busy doing training and then the weekend will be the much awaited Bear Makeover event at the store. Everything seems to be in a hurry this week.

I always believe that I'm a social butterfly, sometimes too friendly that I scare people.

But today, I found out the otherwise.

I don't exactly understand where the problem lies here, to be honest. As much as I've hurt you with my words in certain ways, you did the same too. But more imporantly, it's not about pointing fingers here. At the end of the day, people always tell you to compromise and accommodate, but in reality, it's not as easy as it looks. Trust me.

And then I realised as much as I'm good at communicating, maybe I'm not good at communicating effectively just yet. I admit, I'm sometimes harsh, and I know I've offended a friends out there with my witty sarcasm. And slowly, it's affecting my personal life. If you think I'm gonna lay everything on the table for your reading convenience, then you're wrong.

I fumble with words quite often, and my good intention will occassionally come out wrong. I managed to control it at times, but at other times my mouth works faster than my brains. After all is said and done, then I'll go, "Opps!". It's a tad too late to fix things by then right?

I don't know if there are people out there like me.

I don't exactly plan or recite things I wanna say before actually saying it, could be another reason of my fumble. I just say what's on my mind, whether right or wrong. That's where I come across as selfish and insensitive at times. I don't blame them really, I just wished they understand my position, where I'm coming from.

Am I making sense to you? If not, good. That was my purpose. This was meant to be everywhere, it was meant to be complicated.

Maybe then I can find myself. Maybe then I'll understand why I'm like this.

That aside.

I'm a lagger. Because everyone else uses Tumblr, I'm still on Blogger. Bleargh.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, because I'm eating oat prawns! And because I will miss Ashraf so much by then.